Proairetic

When Down With Love was announced as a homage to the old Doris Day, Rock Hudson romantic comedies of my childhood I never expected to watch it. Attempts to recreate the popular culture of a time always seem to me to fail. The originals virtues and failings are usually rooted in the period of production. Attempt to recycle them result in unsatisfying, ersatz entertainment product.

I saw enough praise to finally send for the DVD. My initial reaction was right.

The good qualities of the film are in the minor stuff. Details of scenes, the pastel colors, casting David Hyde-Pierce in the Tony Randall role of neurotic best pal of the male lead.

But the lead actors themselves struck me as just plain awful. Too narrow: no breadth of quality. The male star was just a cad, no more. Nor did the female exhibit more depth.

Day and Hudson I think had both more likeability and depth. Depth is probably not the right word. They had personas that made watching them go through the motions more fun. And I’m doing my best to overcome any biases of nostalgia.

I couldn’t really decide if it was the actors or the script. If, say, with Hugh Grant and Reece Witherspoon, I’d have enjoyed the movies more.

Richard
May 18, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

Hoping to become a slender leading man, Arnold found that his fortune lay in character parts, and accordingly beefed up his body: “The bigger I got, the better character roles I received,” he’d observe later.

Edward Arnold Biography

Edward Arnold is an old character actor of whom I’m very fond.

Usually he played the Titan of Industry, often wicked and corrupt, sometimes indifferent or benign. He did so wish such élan and was so wholly suited to the part that he found steady employment in those roles for decades.

When I discovered he’d played Daniel Webster in The Devil and Daniel Webster I sent for it. Not only am I an Edward Arnold fan I love anything with Satan in it.

Sadly it was an excruciating bore.

It has been so long since I’d seen this species of pedestrian American cinema I’d forgotten it existed. A series of patriotic homiletics that could please only Oliver Wendell Douglas. It felt like something made for school children to watch in school not for people to pay to see in theaters.

At least Walter Houston made an entertaining prince of darkness.

Richard
May 18, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

Netflix may more forcibly throttle television series DVDs than for movies.

During the last several weeks they’ve often ignored the DVDs at the top of my queue when for a TV program and sent the movies below.

These aren’t recently available TV shows, e.g., McHale’s Navy and NCIS. All are marked as available now.

My guess is that Netflix wants to insure that the average customer is able to get the episodes in order.

I don’t resent the throttling. But I do wish there were a way to know it will happen so I can better plan which DVDs I can expect to be getting.

Richard
May 18, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

I’ve always been a bit irked that I can’t rate movies with fractional stars on Netflix.

After thinking about it for a bit my experience in survey research made me realize that the timidity of many people would probably lead to perhaps many of them opting for 2.5 stars from fear of stating an opinion.

Nonetheless I watch too many movies that I can’t really say I like or dislike. They are acceptably mediocre: I know that before I get them. They satisfy a specialized urge that makes quality less relevant than usual.

Finally I found a Greasemonkey script for Firefox, the Netflix Rating Granulizer

Richard
April 16, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

Jamie Pressly in Cruel World.

I sent for Cruel World because I like Edward Furlong and Jamie Pressly (well, she was so fetching as a domiantrix in the third Poison Ivy movie).

Pressly is in the movie for about five minutes.

Furlong spends most of his time sitting in a chair smoking cigarettes and getting drunk. I don’t think the liquor was a prop. That he drifts and stumbles through the movie in amiable intoxication is about the only thing enjoyable about the film.

Cruel World is one of those movies that is most easily summed up by what it isn’t: engaging or involving.

You don’t care if the characters survive or die. The deaths - even when they are on screen - aren’t inventive or scary. The movie just sort of happens for a hour and a half. The only reason I watched the whole movie is because I often force myself to.

Richard
April 11, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

The first season of Father Knows Best was just released on DVD. Jim (Robert Young) Anderson is a perfectly middle class insurance salesman, husband and father of one daughter and one son.

There are three reasons to watch something like this:

1. Nostalgia
2. Interest in the pop culture of the time
3. Alienation from contemporary TV

Just barely remembering the show from kidhood my reason was #1.

Like most sitcoms of the 1950s it captures the minor dramas and comedies of family life.

The physical set, quality of acting and scripts are a notch above many of the sitcoms of the time. The dialog and situations seemed less strained and artificial. I think Robert Young had some ownership of the show. Perhaps his years in movies left me more alive to what made entertainment produce successful than the producers who just seemed to throw whatever came to their limited imagination on the screen.

I’d rate it just below The Donna Reed Show as the quintessential family life sitcom of the time. (Ward Cleaver’s insufferable perfection leaves me regarding Leave it to Beaver as an oddity.)

No, family life was never really this simple and easy but the show should be a real pleasure for people who aren’t put off by that.

Richard
April 07, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

My image of heaven is a place where there is an infinite number of P.G. Wodehouse books to read.

On and off I’ve wanted to write some sort of appreciation of P.G. Wodehouse. But what is there left to say. So many gifted writers from Evelyn Waugh to Christopher Hitchens have testified to the beauty and humor of his novels and short stories.

Wodehouse’s blend of one of the 20th centuries greatest English prose styles and trivial subject matter is meaningless to those without the ear and sympathy to appreciate it. And self-evident to the rest of us.

Sometimes that I’ve happily read and reread stories about gold might be the easiest example of how much I enjoy him.

Yesterday copies of The Praefect’s Uncle and The White Feather arrived. That I’d buy novels about English schoolboys whose moral economy hinges on being good at games is as clear a testament in my pleasure in Wodehouse as I can imagine.

Oddly the first several times I tried reading him I gave up quickly. Those were all Jeeves and Bertie novels. (Needless to say I enjoy them all hugely now.)

It was a paperback reissue of Leave It To Psmith that finally converted me. To this day it remains my favorite Wodehouse novel. His prose was never better. And retrospective awareness makes me more appreciative of Psmith appearing at Blandings Castle. Nor can I imagine anything funnier than the efficient Baxter tossing flower pots into Lord Emsworth’s bedroom.

Richard
March 04, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

Had I known this was a Jesus Franco* movie I probably wouldn’t have had Netflix send it to me.

Doctor Zimmer, a neurophysiologist, has discovered which parts of the brain control ‘good’ and ‘evil’ (how nice to discover those are objective physiological attributes of the human being). And he has invented Z rays that can control, turn a being either way.

Sadly the mockery and condemnation of his peers gives him a heart attack and he dies.

What else can his daughter do but use his discoveries to seek revenge? After faking her own death she kidnaps the “voluptuous and mysterious” nightclub entertainer Miss Death to aid her in her quest. Once Miss Death’s is enslaved by the Z rays Ms Z coats her fingernails with a poison.

Given that Miss Death is one of those perfect 1960s blond women any man she offers himself to will simply surrender and lend himself to his own assassination. Oddly she kills only one bad scientist. The others die at the hands of Ms Z or another helper. But you can’t help but enjoy watching her on screen whatever she is doing.

Now, amazingly enough one of Dr. Zimmer’s supporters who was a friend of Ms Z’s is also Miss Death’s boyfriend. Through the miracles possible only in bad films he in the end saves the day.

A silly, senseless Euro-trash movie with lots of fun imagery and by and far and away the most entertaining Franco film I’ve ever watched.

* AKA :Joan Almirall, Rosa Maria Almirall, Rosa María Almirall, Clifford Brawn, Clifford Brown Jr., Clifford Brown, Juan G. Cabral, Betty Carter, Candy Coster, Terry De Corsia, Rick Deconinck, Raymond Dubois, Chuck Evans, Toni Falt, Dennis Farnon, Jess Franck, J. Franco, Jesse Franco, Jess Franco, Jesús Franco, A.M. Frank, Adolf M. Frank, Anton Martin Frank, Jeff Frank, Jess Frank, Wolfgang Frank, Manfred Gregor, Jack Griffin, Robert Griffin, Lennie Hayden, Frank Hollman, Frank Hollmann, Frarik Hollmann, Rick Deconinck in Italy, B.F. Johnson, J.P. Johnson, James Lee Johnson, James P. Johnson, David J. Khune, David Khune, D. Khunne Jr., D. Khunne, David J. Khunne, David Khunne, David Kuhne, David Kunne, David Kühne, Lulu Laverne, Lulú Laverne, Franco Manera, J. Franck Manera, J. Frank Manera, Jesus Franco Manera, Jesús Manera, Jeff Manner, Roland Marceignac, A.L. Mariaux, A.L. Marioux, John O’Hara, Preston Quaid, P. Querut, Dan L. Simon, Dan Simon, Jean-Jacques Tarbes, Dave Tough, Pablo Villa, Joan Vincent, Robert Zinnermann, Cole Polly, James Gardner.

Richard
February 09, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

I know I’m never going to have luck with Japanese anime since I’m limiting myself to what Netflix has available.

The high quality Japanese cartoon movies are too nice to interest me. The adventure films are too simple without touching on the kind of simplicity that really draws me (which is early 20th century American).

Netflix doesn’t carry anything really edgy or Yaoi anime that is more than mildly coy.

Even if they had tentacle animations those just aren’t for me. It is difficult for my erotic imagination to grasp who can really enjoy some monster who plugs all of a woman’s openings.

But having had a really fun time watching the live action Cutie Honey a few months back I’d had the cartoon Cutey Honey in my Netflix queue for months.

In the anime Cutey Honey changes look and clothing frequently, shifting from dominatrix with whip to armored warrior to whatever. During each transition she is momentarily naked. That is the gimmick. And it is a funny gimmick for a half hour. Then just routine. And however shapely and mobile we’re talking about cartoon breasts, not a woman of flesh.

The associated characters are pretty typical of Japanese anime: young boy who is just overwhelmed by her beauty (especially those breasts, even when covered) and the dirty old man / mentor. Bad guys show up and are defeated. End of story.

Disc One was plenty for me. No reason to watch the second one.

But there are probably plenty of teenage boys for whom this is pretty exciting stuff.

Richard
February 02, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

I guess I should’ve had a Paris Hilton filter that caused me to automatically reject anything she appears in. But other than knowing that she exists my normal contemporary mass culture filter leaves me knowing little else. Actually I’d seen her in some horror movie where she was neither better nor worse than the other people portraying victims.

I’m sure I’ll avoid her in the future.

National Lampoon’s Pledge This! was the other movie Netflix send from down in my queue. Amazing how much worse it was than much cheaper Mean Sorority Girls movies of prior decades.

More bodily function pseudo-humor than any other movie I’ve ever seen. But no pacing, almost no likeable characters. It was just distasteful, particularly the pledge humiliations.

Having used he fast forward button on Who’s Your Daddy I made myself sit through all of this. Periodically without audio.

Hilton is certainly testimony to what a brand name for a last name combined with a sex tape can do. She isn’t nearly attractive enough to be famous for her looks. She shape of her head is a bit disturbing, not sure why. As are her facial expressions. Not that I object to her fame. The wealthy have always been tabloid fodder and used the prestige that goes with money to attract attention. If people want to give her that attention the aren’t likely to be doing anything more worthwhile should she not exist.

Richard
January 31, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to see Who’s Your Daddy but Netflix skipped past Torchwood Doctor Who Season 3 and several other things and sent it to me.

After upchuck and fart jokes, being introduced to the annoying characters and the introduction of a lawyer named Mike Hunt I hit the fast forward button. And kept hitting it.

Who’s Your Daddy probably marks the end of my exploration of contemporary heterosexual teen sex comedies (except for the one that is en route). I don’t expect originality in this sort of movie. Just small novelty of presentation, minor wit, a few pleasing characters. Having had so little luck finding any of those qualities in the movies I’ve been watching I know it is time to surrender.

Back to Myrna Loy and Cary Grant for me.

Richard
January 30, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

The other evening I had a Frankie Darro / Kane Richmond film festival in my living room.

Who you ask? It surprises me to not see some page celebrating this forgotten team of actors.

Frankie Darro was a short young guy who was able to perform youthful roles for years. The offspring of circus performers he could do his own stunts making him an early equivalent to Jackie Chan. With no stuntmen needed even acts like rushing to his car took on an extra level of energy.

In the pulp parlance of the time Frankie Darro would’ve been summed up as a “feisty bantam weight.”

Kane Richmond would’ve been a “square shouldered straight shooter.” When co-starring with Darro he was usually the romantic lead who got the girl. He was the star of many a cheap serial: scientist, athlete, whatever was needed. He was handsome without the charisma necessary for a successful sex symbol.

I’m surprised their partnership has been more celebrated. By himself Kane Richmond should’ve been the star of the Captain America serial. Together he and Frankie Darrio would’ve made an invincible Batman and Robin.

Like many stars of decades past they are pretty much forgotten.

Richard
January 26, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

I was expecting Starrbooty to be akin to Killer Drag Queens on Dope: cheap, tacky fun. It was a given that the budget would be minimal and the script tending toward the marginal.

RuPaul is the world’s most celebrated supermodel turned spy. She becomes a streetwalker in an effort to be inducted into the ranks of an evil organization that appears to have kidnapped her adopted niece.

There are a few funny bits as she services her customers. But mostly Starrbooty is a tissue of minimally interesting music videos. The plot hardly goes anywhere. For me it was a terribly disengaging movie: my attention kept wandering away, about the least kind thing I can say about a work of popular entertainment.

Starrbooty will probably be enjoyed by RuPaul fans but hardly anyone else.

Richard
January 23, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

Buried under the rubble of failed attempts to achieve cheap laughs there’s actually the vestige of a decent romantic comedy about younger men who enjoy older women in Cougar Club.

But the possibilities were destroyed by:

• A belief that the amusement to be found in bodily noises is inexhaustibly entertaining.
• As wrongheaded a misunderstanding of caricature as I’ve ever seen: the lawyers aren’t remotely funny.

Certainly a worthwhile them for some more able filmmaker.

Richard
January 21, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑

Is Tom Welling Gay?

That question about Smallville’s homoerotically hot star is the most common search term bringing visitors to this site. I’ve never given the idea a second’s consideration but Google and other search engines have a way of mashing disparate elements in unexpected ways.

Probably the real question is there any way I can get Tom Welling to have sex with me. Probably not but that is why people write slash fiction and without even checking I’m sure there’s lots of Smallville slash stories on the web.

Richard
January 21, 2008 • Permalink • Leave a comment • Top↑